Every day is a New Start

Today I begin (for the thousandth time). I have ignored, abused and complained about my health for  long enough. Slow deterioration of my health is now speeding up to mega porprtions.
Today is our first full day home from www.dragoncon.org . I had issues with all the walking and standing in line. I saw the people in scooters and thought "that could be me". Everyone of them were obese. I kept bumping into the person in front of me with my stomach. 

ENOUGH!

I am taking my son to Scotland in 9 months. I must be fit and healthy.
Today it begins. I accept that I have failed many times before. My incentive today is the best ever. 

My goal:
1. Blog
2. Exercise
3. Carbohydrates contol, realistic changes in my daily food intake.

My reward:
1. Scotland
2. Improved health
3. I will pose and post pictures without cringing

Autoimmune Disease

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1299128/

I have begun my research. Distressing to seek answers and only have more questions. I will prevail.

Winter in Georgia

Weather in Georgia February style. Shorts to sweaters in the same week. The past 3 weeks we added snow apparel.  You can read about the beginnings of the first snow storm wave here:

http://www.wsbtv.com/ap/ap/south-carolina/winter-stormcanceled s-wrecks-gridlock-in-the-south/nc5r2/?nmredir=true

There has been criticism, hearings and plans for the next snowstorm. Basically, Georgians are not equipped to handle anything except hot, muggy weather. Yell "Fire" in a crowded room and see what happens. Warn of snow in Georgia and we experience January 28, 2014.

Notice the time stamp 12:09 AM!

Two weeks later we were threatened with snow, again. We listened. Stores shelves empty. Essential personal in place and prepared to stay for several days.

The Forecast was accurate. Schools and businesses in Georgia sent everyone home early or cancelled before the day began. We were homebound for 3 lovely days. 

Snow does not last long here. Melted and roads clear. We were free to enjoy a wonderful Valentine's dinner in Atlanta Friday night.

 It is 4 am Friday February 21. Rain and Tornado Watch.

Like I said, Fickle Georgia Weather.

People Watching

I am a people watcher.
I enjoy examining and analyzing their movements and interactions.      
       
Are they
     in love or indifferent
     exuberant - downcast      
     relaxed - troubled     
     confident - indecisive

Jealous of the couples in love.
Relieved those children are not mine.
Intrigued with the business transactions.
Curious why he is alone; wondering if he should be.  

Human nature is complicated.      
Emotions, experiences and culture influence us. 
                       
Life stories waiting to be experienced.

  2/21/2014

The Heart

The heart is fragile

Given freely in youth

Exuberant in love

New experiences

Innocence evaporates

 

Torn apart by misunderstanding

Gut searing pain

Tears, sobs, a mist around my brain

Time stops

Swallowed by grief

Sleep eludes

Food unwanted

Just to feel your arms around me

Holding tight

Never letting go

The Patient Exposed

I wait with the others to be called

Known by our name, birthdate, medical record number

The color of my hair and eyes do not matter

Fashion is forgotten

Our uniform is open backed gown accessorized with a thermal blanket and no slip socks 

We avoid looking at each other

though we look the same

Hospital gown

Legs exposed

Hair unbrushed

Some patients have

multiple Hospital arm bracelets 

I only have the first two

Identification

Medication Allergy

Latex allergy

Fall Risk

Infectious Disease

Blood Bank

DNR - do not resuscitate

I only have an INT

Some have Central  Lines

fluids dripping via a pump

Medication bags

Alarms, beeps and dings

Sleep deprived

Hungry

Too loud to sleep

Too tired to concentrate

The room is too cold

The room is too hot

Please send me home soon

I want to get back to normal life

Go to work

Hug my family

Until then I will wait for my turn in the big scary machine while I avoid contact with other patients in this room

 November 2013

Patient vs Nurse

My experience as an employee did not prepare me for becoming a nurse

My experience as a nurse did not prepare me for becoming a patient

I choose the role of me

I am consistent

I am real

I have thoughts, feelings

I am unique

~ I am an Employee ~

I have walked these halls many years

Smiled and greeted you

Assisted visitors, given directions

Developed friendships with coworkers

Amicable and tolerant of others Numerous Managers and management style

Purchased many of my meals in the cafeteria

Visited the gift shop

Utilized the concierge for discount tickets to movies, circus and amusement parks

Prayed in the chapel

Research in the library

Enjoyed employee recognition picnics, ice cream socials and The Christmas Banquet

Spent the night in severe weather

Worked over-time, weekends and Holidays

Job description has changed from Unit Clerk, Unit Secretary, unit assistant then Registered Nurse

Worked full-time while in Nursing school

Received tuition Reimbursement and scholarships to attend Nursing School

Nursing Clinicals in this hospital

Education,  conferences

Committees, Mentoring, Preceptor

Manager, Conflict resolution

Certifications

~ I am a Nurse ~

Insert IV's, gastric, urinary tubes 

Manage your body fluids, surgical drains

Bathe, turn and transfer your heavy body (3 pounds to 700 pound bodies)

Medications, wound care

Pain management

Falls and pressure Ulcer prevention

I am your personal

waitress, housekeeper, handyman, 

babysitter, therapist

Patient advocate, teacher, encourager

Emotional Support when you received life-altering news

Rejoiced when you achieved small goals

Dealt with your family and visitors

Presented a calm front while being criticized, verbally abused by your family or you

Held your hand in the wee hours of the night

End of life and palliative care

I put your needs first

I have missed meals

I have a bladder the size of Texas

Lifting, turning, bending

Nonstop activity for 12 hours straight

Foot, leg and back pain

Laughter, Joy, Euphoria

Frustration, Anger, Disappointment

~ I am the Patient ~

Stripped of clothes, privacy, intimacy

Forced to repeat my history to each person who walks through my door

I can't remember the name of my medications

No, I did not bring the bottles with me

Medication substitutions and revisions

That pill doesn't look like the one I take from home

I take this pill at night 

Answer questions

Appear pleasant when you wake me

Request items for personal needs

You turn your back or avoid eye contact while we communicate

What is your pain level on a scale 0-10?

Describe your pain

My Call light is answered but you never receive my request

I am fussed at for walking to nurse station instead of using the call light 

You still do not receive my request

My trash is not emptied, there is no toilet paper

Today the housekeeper arrives before breakfast

The odor of the cleaning solutions cause nausea and a headache

How much did you drink?

The frequency, color and consistency of my bathroom encounters

Do you really have to stay with me while I pee

I don't want to leave my body fluids for you to measure and describe

I'm going to be sick

I say, I need my basin and a cool cloth as you run out the door to get my nausea medicine

Poked, prodded, examined, exposed

Take this medicine

Another test

Let's try...

Digging for answers

Separated from my normal routine, my family

Missing the pets, my bed

The TV screen is green

Can't find my favorite channel

Internet is slow or does not respond

Blah food

All 3 meals served within 10 hours

I am hungry between 5 pm - 8 am

Crackers and juice are not satisfying

Oh well, food is not tempting anyway

Or I can't have anything to eat because of a test

I hear the confused patient yelling in the middle of the night and all day long

The ambulances and helicopters outside

Who are all these people that come into my room

Please introduce yourself and tell me your purpose

Nurse, new nurse orienting, nursing student

Nursing assistant to take my vital signs every four hours

Dietary, housekeeper

Respiratory therapist

Rehab- speech, occupational, physical therapist

Case Manager

Charge nurse

Unit Manager, assistant Unit manager, Clinical Specialist, Clinical 

Educator

Can any patient know their doctor when there is so many specialities?

Attending Physician, physicians assistant, nurse practitioner

Consulting Physicians: cardiology, nephrology, infectious disease

hematology, oncology, hepatology, gastrology, neurology, urology, pulmonology, rheumatology, allergy, dermatology, ENT, podiatry

OB-GYN, neonatology, pediatrician

Surgeon: general, vascular, cardiothoracic, orthopedic, urology, gynecology

Anesthesia

Radiology department

Cardiology department

Laboratory Department

So many departments, Physician specialties 

I will not think of the billing statements, insurance and copays.

November 2013